Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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