Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
soo... how was my night?
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