I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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