Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
