quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
