wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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