just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
