when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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