Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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