I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My balls are so social today.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
