everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
