My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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