she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
