All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
