we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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