your parents love me but you hate me
I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
