my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize