What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
