dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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