FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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