Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
