its not stalking. its research.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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