I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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