At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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