somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize