By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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