I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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