Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
