Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
