You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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