You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
