he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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