does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
