I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
