so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
