weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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