I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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