We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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