ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
