I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
