I've blown a few things in my day
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
