he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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