just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
