You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
