I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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