You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
