I accidentally had phone sex last night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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