i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
