seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
