Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
