He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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