i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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