I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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