she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
