she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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