fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
