I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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