The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
