i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
