To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
